08/24/2020
How to protect your family’s mental health in the face of COVID-19
https://www.unicef.org/coronavirus/how-protect-your-familys-mental-health-face-coronavirus-disease-covid-19
< Back to UNICEF COVID-19 portal Parents and children are facing major life disruptions with the outbreak of coronavirus disease (COVID-19). School closures, physical distancing, it’s a lot to take in and it’s difficult for everyone in the family. We sat down with expert adolescent psychologist, best-selling author, monthly New York Times…, UNICEF: , How can teenagers and parents take care of their mental health during the coronavirus disease (COVID-19) outbreak?, Dr. Damour:, The first thing that parents can do is actually to normalize the fact that they [teenagers] are feeling anxious. Many teenagers have the misunderstanding that anxiety is always a sign of mental illness when in fact, psychologists have long recognized that anxiety is a normal and healthy function that alerts us to threats and helps us take measures…, UNICEF: , On distractions, it’s going to be tempting for a lot of teenagers to bury themselves in screens right now. How can parents and teenagers best handle that?, Dr. Damour: , I would be very up front with a teenager and say, “Okay, you and I both know you’ve got a heck of a lot of time on your hands, but you and I both know that it’s not going to be a good idea to have unfettered access to screens and/or social media. That’s not healthy, that’s not smart and it may amplify your anxiety. We really don’t think you having…, UNICEF:, Is structure key to maintaining a sense of normalcy?, Dr. Damour:, Kids need structure. Full stop. And what we’re all having to do, very quickly, is invent entirely new structures to get every one of us through our days. And so I would strongly recommend that parents make sure that there’s a schedule for the day, that there’s a plan for how time will be spent — and that can include playtime where kids can get on…, UNICEF:, What tips would you give parents who are building a structure for younger children?, Dr. Damour:, I think we have to recognize that younger kids actually do sit in class for periods of the day and tolerate the interruptions and annoyances of a lot of kids around them, and they won’t have to tolerate those when they’re at home. Which is to say that I don’t think we should underestimate their ability to work in a focused way from home. That said…, UNICEF:, How important is a parent’s own behaviour in a time of crisis?, Dr. Damour:, Parents, of course, are anxious too and our kids know us better than we know ourselves. They will take emotional cues from us. I would ask parents to do what they can to manage their anxiety on their own time – to not overshare their fears with their children. That may mean containing emotions, which may be hard for parents at times especially if…, UNICEF:, Should parents ask their children how they’re feeling on a regular basis or does that bring up more feelings of anxiety?, Dr. Damour:, I think it depends on the kid. Some kids really keep to themselves and so it may be valuable for a parent to say, “How are you doing?” or “What are you hearing?” Other kids are going to be talking and talking and talking about it. The way we want to approach these things is to find a good balance between expression and containment. You want some…, UNICEF:, Children may worry about catching the virus, but not feel comfortable speaking to their parents about it. How should parents approach the topic with them?, Dr. Damour:, Parents should have a calm, proactive conversation with their children about the coronavirus disease (COVID-19), and the important role children can play in keeping themselves healthy. Let them know that it is possible that [you or your children] might start to feel symptoms at some point, which are often very similar to the common cold or flu,…, UNICEF:, There’s a lot of inaccurate information about coronarvirus disease (COVID-19) out there. What can parents do to help counter this misinformation?, Dr. Damour:, Start by finding out what they are hearing or what they think is true. It’s not enough to just give your kid facts. If your child has picked up something that is inaccurate or picked up news that is not correct they will combine the new information you give them with the old information they have into a sort of Frankenstein understanding of what’s…, >> Get the latest information and tips to protect you and your family against the virus., “When it comes to having a painful feeling, the only way out is through.”, UNICEF:, How can parents support their children who are experiencing disappointment due to cancelled events and activities?, Dr. Damour:, Let them be sad and don’t try to guilt them out of it. Don’t say, “Other people have this worse than you.” Now your kid feels sad and guilty! That doesn’t make it better. Say to them, “You are having the right reaction. This really stinks. You’re not going to get to be with your friends. You’re not going to get to spend spring on college campus.…, UNICEF:, What recommendations do you have for teenagers who are feeling lonely and disconnected from friends and activities?, Dr. Damour:, This is where we now may appreciate social media in a whole new way! While adults can have such a jaundiced view of adolescents and social media, teenagers want to be with their friends. Under physical distancing conditions: tada! They can be with their friends! Further, I would never underestimate the creativity of teenagers. My hunch is that…, UNICEF:, What are some of the outlets teenagers can use to work through these difficult feelings and take care of their mental health?, Dr. Damour:, I think every kid is going to do this in a different way. Some kids are going to make art, some kids are going to want to talk to their friends and use their shared sadness as a way to feel connected in a time when they can’t be together in person. Some kids are going to want to find ways to get food to food banks. I would just say know your kid,…, UNICEF:, Some children are facing abuse at school or online around the coronavirus outbreak. What should a child do if they are experiencing bullying?, Dr. Damour:, Activating bystanders is the best way to address any kind of bullying. Along these lines, all parents should tell their children that if they witness bullying, they should reach out to the victim or find an adult who can help., >> Cyberbullying: What it is and how to stop it >> How to talk to your child about bullying, , UNICEF:, How can parents make the most of the situation? If you’re able to be with your kids, how can you have fun together while you’re stuck at home?, Dr. Damour:, In our house — I have two daughters — we’ve decided that we are going to have a dinner team every night. We’re going to create a schedule of who’s in charge of dinner and sometimes it’ll be me and my spouse and sometimes it’ll be me and one of my daughters. We’ll mix it up in pairs, and my older daughter is a teen and my younger daughter is…
